


Summer Winds

by Nebbles



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken | Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword
Genre: F/M, elibe only brings angst and suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 01:31:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10264148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebbles/pseuds/Nebbles
Summary: Eliwood wondered how hard it would be to say goodbye again.





	

A soft breeze carried the warm scent of flowers throughout the air. The sun shone down gently on the expansive plain, the warm summer air gracing the gardens outside Pherae's castle. It was an absolutely lovely day outside.

Eliwood only wished he had Ninian to enjoy it with. He knelt next to her grave, clutching the bouquet of flowers close to his chest – the ones that Ninian had adored so much. 

Eliwood remembered the day he had brought them home to her, right before proposing. Ninian’s eyes lit up with delight as she lifted the flowers to her nose, the scent bringing a smile to her face. He remembered the look on her face when he asked her to be his bride, and her joyous response. It felt like it had happened yesterday. 

Eliwood’s body felt like ice. He wasn’t ready to put them down, and fully accept that the love of his life, once again, was gone.

And this time, she wouldn’t be coming back. She knew her time on Elibe would be short. She accepted it. She wanted to be with Eliwood for the remainder of her days, instead of living a long, healthy life with Nils.

Who was he to steal her life? Eliwood felt responsible for her shortened lifespan. She didn’t have to stay. Eliwood would have rather dealt with lingering heartache than having to bury his wife. 

Eliwood slowly placed the flowers on her grave. He felt a hand on his shoulder, but couldn’t tear himself away from staring at the flowers.

“It was a beautiful funeral. We gave Ninian what she deserved,” Hector kept his normally loud voice low, trying to console Eliwood. 

“…she loved these flowers,” Eliwood mumbled softly, rubbing his fingers over the petals. “They were her favorite, actually. I always made sure to get them for her when I could. We even visited Ilia once. She spent hours in fields of these flowers… they made her so happy.”

“Eliwood…” Hector pressed his lips into a thin line, unsure of what to say. He was not a man of comfort. Finding the right words was never easy, but he had to think of something to say. He couldn’t leave Eliwood like this.

“We’d sit in the fields together, too, and she’d put some of the flowers in my hair. I probably looked ridiculous, but she laughed and said I looked lovely. She was full of life, Hector,” Eliwood’s fingers slipped away from the flowers. A stray petal fell loose, swirling away in the wind. “I almost forgot at times she was going to die.”

Hector knelt down next to Eliwood, keeping his hand clasped on his shoulder. He sighed deeply, watching the flowers sway in the breeze. “I know… none of us wanted to remember she was going to.”

“We’d… we’d walk in these fields, too. We’d stray from the gardens and roam until late. We enjoyed seeing the sun sink below the fields, seeing stars dot the skies…” Eliwood felt tears sting his eyes, but didn’t bother to wipe them away. 

“Lyn’s checking on Roy right now… but she’ll be out soon. She wants to make sure you’re okay, too. I gather she’d also like… to say goodbye,” Hector glanced back at the castle, wondering how long it had been since she’d gone inside. 

“Roy… Roy won’t get to know his mother, Hector…” Eliwood’s voice was small. He had realized this the second Ninian had passed away. The pain, however, had finally hit. When Roy would grow older, and when he would ask about his mother, Eliwood would have to tell him. That his wonderful, brave mother died shortly after he was born.

“Eliwood, please. You’re going to upset yourself further,” Hector didn’t want to hear Eliwood spiral downward. He had already seen Eliwood cry over the loss of his father, and the first time Ninian had left them. Seeing his closest friend in such pain wasn’t something Hector wanted to see after the war had ended. It was so unfair, Hector thought. Eliwood had already lost so much. He didn’t deserve this. 

“I took her life away, Hector. I… I should be this upset,” Eliwood wiped the tears from his eyes, trying to keep his breath steady. “I won’t see her face when I wake up in the morning. We won’t be able to dance together. I won’t be able to see her smile, hear her laugh… she was so excited to have a child, Hector. Even knowing she wouldn’t be with him for long…”

Hector remained silent. He could think of nothing to say. 

“She wanted to tell Roy all about her life. About Nils, the uncle he would never get to meet. About old folktales and stories about dragons. She wanted to sing him lullabies she knew from years ago… she wanted to do so much, Hector…” his tears were freely falling now. Eliwood’s breath got caught in his throat as a sob broke through, unable to contain the pain in his heart.

“It’s not your fault,” Hector felt as though his words weren’t going to do much at the moment. 

“Then why do I feel like it is? She chose to stay here because of me. I should have let her go…” Eliwood wanted to shut his mind off. He didn’t want to keep hurting himself like this, but he could do nothing but think about Ninian’s life being stolen away.

“She wanted to stay because of you, Eliwood. Ninian was so hopelessly in love with you, and it would have hurt her more to leave you,” Hector wanted to think of anything that would be remotely helpful. It was his duty as Eliwood’s closest friend. “You made her so happy… her final days were filled with nothing but joy, Eliwood. You gave her that happiness.”

Happiness. Eliwood knew was Ninian was happy – there was no doubt in his mind about that. Yet at the back of his mind, he always wondered if Ninian regretted not going home with Nils. If he was worth all of this. Was he? The man who couldn’t manage to save his own father? He had fought so hard to save his life, and had instead seen his father’s life slip between his fingers. His dying breath lingered in Eliwood’s mind forever, the feeling of blood on his hands still much too fresh.

He still felt Ninian’s blood on his hands too. He never had felt happier to rid of a sword. While Durandal had helped win them the war, the idea of using it ever again made Eliwood feel ill. It didn’t have Ninian’s blood on it, but upon sealing it, he swore the faintest tint of red swept across the blade. 

“I wonder if Nils knows…” Eliwood had already seen Nils heartbroken once. He was glad he didn’t have to see it again. “Gods. I can’t imagine he’ll forgive me this time.”

“Eliwood, it’s not your fault,” Hector repeated. “Nils knew this would happen too… all he wanted was his sister to live out the rest of her life however she pleased. Yes, he knew it’d be short. She knew too. This was her decision, Eliwood. The guilt is not yours to bear.”

But it was, Eliwood wanted to argue. He had kept his pain hidden so much during the war. He wiped away his tears, constantly, knowing that fighting tomorrow to live another day was more important. They had to stop Nergal. He had to stop Nergal. 

And now that it was over, the tears didn’t seem to stop. 

It hurt to cry like this. Eliwood’s chest felt tight, and breathing felt so hard. He had gone through so much loss much, much too quickly. Time had passed in an instant. One moment, he had a family. Then his father had passed away. Then Ninian. And then Ninian again, by his own hands once again. Trying to comprehend why me, why did this happen, why couldn’t I prevent this, only made the weight in Eliwood’s heart heavier. 

Hector could only now keep his hand on Eliwood’s shoulder as a reminder he was there. Words weren’t helping, and Hector couldn’t fault Eliwood for that. Words did little to console him when his parents passed away. Words didn’t bring back Uther. Everyone else’s words had felt so hollow to him – that they were so sorry and it was such a tragedy to see them die at such a young age. Hector knew that. He didn’t need to be reminded. 

He figured, to Eliwood, he didn’t need to be reminded either. He knew Ninian was happy living in Elibe in the last years of her life. He didn’t need to remember that Roy would never get to know his mother. The empty feeling of the castle would be more than enough of a reminder. All the knights and guards in the world wouldn’t make it feel any different.

“…I…” It felt like ages until Eliwood found his voice again. It still sounded shaky and defeated. “I just want to go inside, Hector. If that’s all right. I… I can’t bear to look at this any longer. You and Lyn can visit her,” he removed Hector’s hand from his shoulder, slowly standing up. He wanted to be alone, and knew that Hector would understand.

“Of course,” Hector nodded. “Tell her I’ll be here. Get some rest, Eliwood. You need it.”

Eliwood nodded in response, wondering when a night of good rest would grace him. He certainly knew it wouldn’t be for a while. 

He passed Lyn upon entering the castle, giving her a brief hello before retreating upstairs. Part of him regretted not talking to her, but talking to Hector was enough of a strain on him. He didn’t want to hear Lyn say the same thing. He didn’t want to see Lyn weep as he did. He had seen enough pain today. 

A sigh escaped him as he entered their bedroom. A portrait of him, Ninian and Roy hung up on the wall. It felt like it had been painted ages ago. The smile on Ninian’s face was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen – it was so gentle and full of love. Her arms were gently wrapped around Roy as Eliwood’s hands laid over hers. It was a beautiful portrait of a happy, loving family.

It hurt so much to look at.

Eliwood tore his gaze away from the portrait, furiously wiping at more tears forming in his eyes. He’d already cried so much today. 

He walked over to Roy, who was resting in his crib. Eliwood almost envied him – he was much too young to remember this heartache. He wouldn’t have to live through the pain. However, Eliwood knew he’d have to tell Roy about Ninian. About the wonderful, brave, strong woman she was. About how they met, and how they fell in love. Roy deserved to know. Ninian’s story would not be forgotten.

He reached down in Roy’s crib, picking him up gently. Roy stirred in his arms, blearily looking up at his father. Eliwood sat down in the nearby chair, offering a small, albeit weak smile at his son.

“I know… I know you aren’t going to remember,” Eliwood began, “but I want to tell you about your mother. About all the amazing things she did, and all the amazing things about her. One day, I know you’ll remember these stories, and you’ll love her just as I did. Ninian… she was the most wonderful woman I had ever met…”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e1j3o_NPLA


End file.
